Friday, July 16, 2010


The quiet, hot days of summer summon strange conversations and stories in the hockey world, allowing the fan to ponder things that wouldn't get a fraction of a seconds attention during the busy season.

And so it has come to this.


If you at all follow the blog Puck Daddy, no doubt you've heard the quirky story of a lady beating the odds and getting her homemade cupcakes past the iron fence of modern day sports concessions and into the dilapidated Nassau Coliseum in Long Island for Islanders games this upcoming season.

Who cares right?

Well, we here at Black Aces do. Not really, but the marriage of cupcakes and NHL hockey have given rise to a mass of Tweeters coming up with their own cupcake jokes, some of which, below, were posted on Puck Daddy:


Greg's post Thursday about the New York Islanders cupcakes sparked a bit of a to-do on Twitter. The jokes obviously came rollin' in, and made it an odd trending topic for a bit of the late morning.

Some of the better ones:

@DaveLozo: "The Sidney Crosby Cupcake — it doesn't matter if you like it, it's getting crammed down your throat."

@blogesalming: "The Eklund Cupcake: Convinces you you're eating a cupcake and turns out to be urinal cake"

@DownGoesBrown: "The LA Kings cupcake: Fans love it, but don't understand how the icing works."

@psykovike: "Calgary Flames Cupcake... The 'baker' doesn't give a damn if you like it or not... What do you know about cupcakes..."

@radioactivesmrf: "The Chris Mason Cupcake, it's better than it looks. It would have to be..."

@Kevin_Singer: "The Dany Heatley cupcake: demands to be made at another bakery because current one isn't putting it on the right shelf"

And the winner...

@dear_gravity: "The Phil Kessel cupcake: has one nut inside."

Pretty good stuff there (well, the Kessel one was a little much maybe).

But over a particularly long day at work, I started swapping cupcakes with our pal Blood Red Army, and soon the shelves were overflowing with ideas. I thought, what the hell, it's summer. I can do an entire post about cupcakes. So here's what we came up with during our Friday sun-addled afternoon, mostly Senators related and BRA's epic blast at Luongo included.

Enjoy (or don't). We did.

Blood Red Army: The Alexie Kovalev: If you're not careful, it'll disappear before you even get it in your mouth.

Black Aces: The Filip Kuba: No one even noticed it was gone from the bakery shelf.

Blood Red Army: The Rick Dipietro: You'll still be paying for it in 12 years.

Black Aces: The Jonathan Cheechoo: Like fruitcake, whatever appeal it had faded a long time ago.

Blood Red Army: The Jason Spezza: He'll make you sick as he passes backwards through you.

Black Aces: The Jacques Martin: Sugar free, tasteless and bland, but good for you.

Blood Red Army: The Joe Corvo: Will request to be moved to a Duncan Donuts or other generic store.

Black Aces: The Bryan Murray: So sour it makths you talkth lithke thisth.

Blood Red Army:  The Ray Emery: It's chocolate with a white, snowy-frosting.  (Ed.'s Note: Allegedly)

Black Aces: The Martin Gerber: Stank so bad they had to shut the bakery early in 2009.

Blood Red Army: The Roberto Luongo: Decent, but overrated and extra greasy.

Black Aces: The Zdeno Chara: WAY too much yeast.

Blood Red Army: The Erik Karlsson: So slick it'll pass through you before you can even say number 2.

Black Aces: The Cody Bass: Fell through the crack on the bakers shelf and left to rot.

Blood Red Army: The Jarkko Ruutu: Bite in quick before it bites you.

Black Aces: The John Paddock: You get three quarters through it and end up throwing it in the trash.

Blood Red Army: The Bill Muckalt: A year later you'll still be wondering what happened.

Black Aces: The Mike Comrie: Don't buy or sell - the recipe was fucked to begin with.

Blood Red Army: The Don Cherry: Warning - must be split open to allow hot air to escape before eating.

Black Aces: The AlexeiYashin: You can't afford it.

Blood Red Army: The Chris Chelios: You just can't get it to stay down.

Black Aces: The Anton Volchenkov: Shot so full of raisins you wonder how it stays together.

Blood Red Army: The Wade Redden: Slowly rotted from too much sugar. (Ed.'s note: Allegedly)

And a few more for good measure from Black Aces who evidently had more time to kill than BRA.

The Chris Neil: Free tooth inside every one.

The Matt Carkner: Who knew people would like a molasses cupcake so much?

The Andy Sutton: Leaves the experts confused - is it good or is it just another cupcake?

The John Muckler: White icing, full of bones and smells funny.

The Dany Heatley: Smells like chicken, tastes like chickenshit.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Off topic ...

But, if it's true that NJ gave Kovalchuk $100M for 17 years, then I gotta say ...


Somethings in the water in the NJ/NY area.

NYI, NYR, and NJ now can all boast that they give ridiculous contracts.