Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Gretzky Associates Himself With Worst Band in Music History

Say it ain’t so Wayne! That was one of the many headlines across Canada when Wayne “The Great One” Gretzky was traded to La La Land in August of 1988. It could apply now as well.

Gretzky is making an appearance with poodle rockers Nickelback in their new video for “Rockstar”. As if this song wasn’t bad enough (don’t they already have a video for this?), now we have to endure one of Canada’s greatest icons being associated with Canada’s biggest musical embarrassment to date, and I’m including Celine Dion and Our Lady Peace.

Other celebrities included in this stinker are Gene Simmons of Kiss, Dale Earnhardt Jr., psychotic right winger and killer of defenseless animals Ted Nugent (the Nuge!), as well as Grant Hill and a few other has beens.

As if being caught up in a mind blowing gambling scandal thanks to his buddy Rick Tochett and coaching the dreadful Phoenix Coyotes wasn’t enough to further devalue the Great One. Now he is on videotape lyp-synching moronic lyrics written by perma-goatee Chad “RockstarKroeger and his band of rich poseurs putting out music that is so produced and compressed with 35 separate guitar tracks that it sounds like it was played by a vending machine computer. But I guess the kids want what the kids want – corny ballads and weak rock anthems.

Please Wayne. I’m begging you. I still have tons of respect for everything you’ve done and the hours of joy I had watching my beloved Oilers in the 80’s. I even tolerated watching you make an ass of yourself on All My Children and watched that Saturday Night Live episode you hosted, not once, but twice! I struggled through your thousands of commercials telling me to buy trucks and take Tylenol and wear Roots. But this! I can’t tolerate it. Nickelback is out to destroy rock and roll as we used to know it. Can’t you see. They pretend to be like Nirvana but they’re really just a weak version of Foreigner with distortion pedals, bad haircuts and goatees and grade 2 poems masquerading as lyrics. Please Wayne! Don’t make me hate you.

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